This isn’t one of my typical blog posts because right now I am hurting and sometimes I want people to know that my blog isn’t always so upbeat and positive. Last week I had to say goodbye to my grandmother’s life. By life I mean her house and everything in it, including her high heel shoes.

My grandmother Helen Ragland had a very special relationship with me. She was the only person I could call in the middle of the night, she was the only one that would take me shopping every Saturday, she was the only one that would rub my back to sleep while singing an Irish lulabye, she was the only 85-year-old women I knew that would wear high heel shoes, and she was the only one that would dress up at every occasion.

My Nanny has this love for shoes just like me. Every time we hang out we show off our shoes to each other. I would try her shoes on (because we were the exact same size) and I would model them all around the house. This past weekend we had to say bye to that house.

My nanny has been diagnosed with dementia and she has moved into assisted living. The doctor told her that she can no longer wear her shoes because she will break her hip. So this weekend we went through all her things and emptied her house to be sold. I kept the pink floral high heels in this post but I couldn’t keep everything. One of the things I couldn’t keep was a box of her shoes. When I saw that box of shoes I just broke down in tears.

I stared at the box of shoes for so long. Who will they go to? Who will wear them? Are they sweet like my Nanny? Do they make german chocolate cake like her? Does she have a granddaughter and does she love her like Nanny loves me? Will she do great things in those shoes? Will she be kind to people while wearing those shoes?

They are just shoes, right? They had to be sold so that we can pay for her assisted living. There wasn’t a choice. We had to sell her life. But, they are more than just a box shoes to me. She wore a pair of those shoes when she was at my wedding, when she saw Grayson for the first time, when she took me prom dress shopping, when she hugged me when my first boyfriend broke up with me, and when the doctor diagnosed her with dementia.

Hug your grandparents so tight and tell them how much you love them. Learn from them and ask them questions. Let them tell you stories about the good ole days. Ask them to teach you a famous family recipe. Take them shopping. Talk to them on the phone even though you like to text and you think you have something better to do with your 20 minutes. Because one day you are going to sell all of their shoes.

I love you Nanny, even when you forget me.

Abraidedblonde