It’s not a secret at this point. You guys know I like to write real blog posts. Sometimes I sit up late at night staring at the ceiling and thinking of my life. Tonight, I can’t stop thinking about my dad. While trying to hold back the tears, I am just clicking away at the keyboard. These keys are so heavy on my finger tips tonight.

I have so many wonderful memories with my dad. I don’t even know if he really knows the impact he made on my life. Some of the best memories with him were our long walks around the neighborhood. I have always had this huge eagerness to learn. Poor Dad, most of our conversations consisted of me asking him question after question. Dad always knew the answer. 

You would think he would get annoyed with his little girl asking question after question. But he didn’t. In fact, I cannot recall one time that my dad would answer my question with I don’t know. Growing up I thought he was the smartest and wisest man on the earth. 

But the most impactful memories with my dad, was feeling the warmth of his heart. His heart was big for such a small guy, his heart was kind despite all of the the people that have wronged him, and his heart never skipped a beat. 

For many years my dad was a preacher. I saw him work weekends and late nights at the funeral home my entire childhood. There were times I would watch him get off late from work and visit the sick in the hospital. He would sit for hours and talk to the elderly in the nursing home. I know those people needed to borrow his warm heart and I was so happy to share it with them. I know he felt guilty for working weekends and nights but I always understood that my dad was helping others. He shaped me into the hard working servant that I am today.

The humility my dad processes is something to admire and something you just don’t see often in this day and time. He is happy and content with little. He never wishes for extravagant nice things and he has never complained about achieving high amounts of monetary success. His never showed interest in having a big house, a fancy car, or a rare expensive collection. For his most prize possession is his family.  

You see, something happens when you use your warm heart. It becomes weak, it’s a little bit different from other hearts because it has two aorta’s instead of three, and therefore, it has to work twice as hard. But when you open your hands and heart by serving others and the Lord, your heart becomes weak. When you give your heart out so freely to the families dealing with grief, to your wife dealing with breast cancer, to your daughter dealing with sleeping and eating disorders, to your little loving grandchildren, and to the complete strangers on the street, your heart becomes weak. When you have to lead a funeral service and help comfort mothers while they bury their little tiny babies into the ground, your heart becomes weak.

Open. heart. surgery. Those words sink so deep in my chest. They sink so deep on my keyboard. I think back to those morning text messages that he sends me out of the blue that say, “I’m so proud of you Kelly!”, or “I just read your blog post Kell and you are becoming an excellent writer!”, or ” I love you Kelly Girl! Have a great week!”.

Dad,

I know you are reading because you don’t miss a post. I want you to know that you are my number one fan. I love your warm giving heart and I can’t wait for it to be strong again. I want Annslee Kate and Grayson to grow up with you and that’s why I moved back home. I am going to shape them just like you shaped me. I am going to put my phone down and listen when they talk. I am going to go on long walks and talk to them just like you did with me. I am going to send out morning text messages and let them know how proud I am. I don’t think you know how much those text messages impacted my entire day.

We are going to make so many more memories together.

Let’s get that warm heart strong again.

Your little girl,

Abraidedblonde

P.S. to my followers- The doctor scheduled open heart surgery today. My dad was born with two aortas instead of three. So his aorta is weak and needs to be replaced. They said he is showing symptoms of heart failure. The doctor said the surgery is low risk and that they will replace his weak Aorta with a mechanical valve instead of a pig valve. This mechanical valve can last 10 years.

Please keep my dad, my family, and the surgical team in your thoughts and prayers.