As an enneagram three, habits are so fun for me to talk about. Over the years, I’ve developed some really great habits, while also fighting off and correcting bad habits. In today’s episode, I’m sharing how unhealthy habits can keep you from reaching your full potential. Listen in as I highlight a few unhealthy habits you may not realize you have, along with how you can kick those unhealthy habits in order to reach your full potential and most confident self.

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Unhealthy Habits and How to Break Them

No one expects you to be perfect. If you just try to improve 1% every day, that make such a difference. The goal of this episode isn’t to shame you, but rather help bring you out of the stress and overwhelm that comes with life and motherhood.

Here are some of the common unhealthy habits that women battle and ways you can break the habits.

1. Constantly comparing yourself to other moms or other women.

Whether you’re comparing yourself at work, on social media, or in everyday life, you need to stop making yourself feel inadequate. How to combat this unhealthy habit:

• Get comfortable muting account on social media.
• Focus on you and your gratitude by writing in a journal.

2. Negative self-talk

While you may not think that you engage in negative self talk, you actually might be, which is hurting your self confidence over time. You can combat this through:

• Practicing self compassion.
• Focusing on your strengths.

Don’t say things like, “I’m not good at math,” “I can’t grow my social media,” or “I’m always late.” Those are negative self talks telling you that you can’t do it. Another consideration is to not say the word “should,” like “I should be at 100k.” There is a lot of shame that comes with the word should by setting unrealistic expectations.

3. Neglecting self-care.

Self-care looks different for everyone, but if you neglect our own needs and well-being. Find ways to recharge mentally, emotionally, and physically. This could look like:

• Working out.
• Going on walks.
• Scheduling lunch breaks.
• Getting your nails done.
• Shopping.
• Yoga or pilates or crossfit.
• Finding a new hobby

If you’re just taking care of others or working, you aren’t pouring into yourself. You deserve to enjoy life too. My tied and exhausted self is not my best self.

4. Overcommitting and feeling overwhelmed

We are all bad about overcommitting—it’s typically because we can’t say no. This removes time for you to just do things for you. You can break this habit by:

• Looking at your week ahead and moving things as needed.
• Own your schedule.
• Learn to say “No.”

Here are some tips for how to say No in a nice way:

• “I would love to participate, but unfortunately I can’t. I would love to work with you in the future.”
• “I’m so sorry I can’t come to this, but here is someone who can help you.”
• “Thank you for the opportunity. I would love to keep a relationship with you, but right now this product doesn’t fit my brand.”

5. Ignoring your accomplishments.

Whether big or small, you should be celebrating your accomplishments. No matter how small, celebrate them, because what you’re doing is saying that when you achieve something, it’s not enough.

Celebrate starting a podcast, hitting a goal, and everything in between—from small to big. Don’t wait to celebrate. Celebrate it every week.

6. Not meal prepping your meals.

Y’all know how valuable meal prepping has become for me. If you’re not doing it as a busy mom or person, it’s time to start! Meal prepping saves money, helps you manage your protein, and so much more. Here are a few ways to get started with meal prepping:

• Get some cute containers on Amazon.
• Start with simple lunches with a fruit, some lean protein, pretzel chips, hummus, and vegetables.
• Add in another meal for the day.

Feel free to talk to a nutritionist or dietitian to help you build the right meal plans for you and your family.

7. Going to bed too late.

I used to be a night owl—I thrived on going to bed and watching Vampire Diaries, earing truffle sea salt caramel ice cream, and chilling. This put me in a cycle of going to bed late and waking up late, building a cycle that kept me tired.

When I’m well-rested, my days are so much better. Here is how you can start getting more rest:

• Get off your phone and put it in another room or away from you at night.
• Set an alarm.
• Try reading a book, journaling, or painting before bed.

I hope you’re on a journey to kicking these unhealthy habits, and remember just do it 1% at a time!

Mentioned in this Episode

Atomic Habits by James Clear

Burn Bootcamp

Review the Transcript:

Hi, today is going to be such a fun episode because we are going to talk about unhealthy habits that are keeping you from becoming your most confident self. Habits is so fun to talk about. I love talking habits. It’s an Enneagram three for sure. And I contribute most, if not all, the success I have. To building just really, really good healthy habits.

So if you haven’t read the Atomic Habits book by James Clear, I strongly suggest you do. I’ve read it at least twice, and I really do use a lot of these principles in the book, um, to help build some really healthy habits. It’s truly just so, so good. So definitely go check that book out. After you listen to this podcast, but we’ll touch, we’ll touch on some things, just some unhealthy habits that we can, we can fix.

Also, these are all habits that we do from time to time. No one expects you to be perfect, but I love to leave you with some great tips that will help you just maybe tweak a little things. Um, also, anytime you podcast, especially with self development. My rule of thumb is to get 1 percent better every day.

I don’t have to get 100 percent better every day. I don’t have to get 200 percent better. Just 1%, just a little bit every day, and that’s something from his book as well. But no one expects you to be perfect. We just want to help get you out of this stress and overwhelm, especially as a woman or a mom.

So as a mother or two, there’s several bad habits that can negatively affect you. Impact your confidence on healthy habit number one is constantly comparing yourself to other moms or other women, either in person at work or on social media, and this can lead to feelings of just. inadequate. Um, it really undermines your confidence.

So just remember that every family is unique and what works for them may not work for you. So one way to help combat this and some tips is to get really comfortable with muting accounts on social media. It doesn’t mean you unfollow them and they won’t know about it. You just simply go in and hit the mute button.

You have to click on following family. And then that option is there and if, you know, social media is a highlight reel. And so if it’s triggering comparison, and you’re not feeling that inspiration, like you once were at some point, or that engagement, or just really feeling like you could relate to that person, if you’re not really feeling that anymore, if the account makes you feel, or worse about yourself or whatever.

It’s okay to mute for a little bit. It really is. Your social media should be a great place. And even when I’ve had, just meetings with Metta, like I have a contact at Metta and even they suggest this, like they want you to mute accounts. But your blessings are your blessings and her blessings are her blessings.

Her blessings were not meant for you. Just keep that in mind. And because. You know, comparisons are really, really unhealthy habit that we need to try to combat. And I think it’s something everyone deals with every day, especially with social media. Another 1 is just like, focusing on you and your gratitude and so writing 3 things you’re grateful for and a gratitude journal will also help with comparison.

Also journaling will help as well. But. Those are some great tips on how to combat the comparison trap. Another unhealthy habit is negative self talk. And this one, you would think, Oh, well, like, I don’t really do that, but I’ll show you some ways that you’re doing this without maybe even knowing. But engaging in negative self talk, such as criticizing your parenting abilities, um, Or dwelling on your shortcomings, it can really hurt your confidence over time.

So you want to practice self compassion and focus on strengths, especially as a mom or a wife or a single woman, right? You want to practice just self compassion and focus on strengths. So, and I’ve used this analogy before, but you don’t want to say things like, I’m not very good at math, or I can never grow my social media, or I’m always late.

Those are, those are negative self talks and you’re basically saying, I can’t do this. I can’t do that. You’ve made your mind up, that’s already in your mind, and we’re going to stop that. So stop trying to say phrases like that. That’s a really bad habit. Um, and that’s just negative self talk. Another example that someone pointed out to me in counseling before that I thought was so good is don’t ever say the word should.

Like I should be at a hundred K on Instagram now, or I should be able to stay home with my kids instead of working a nine to five. This is causing unrealistic expectations on yourself. So you just need to stop saying that word should, should, there’s a lot of shame that comes in the word should, like I should be at this point right now, or I should be doing this.

That’s shame because you’re putting these crazy expectations and you’re just really engaging in negative self talk. So we don’t want to do that anymore. Another unhealthy habit is just neglecting self care and self care can mean different things for me that it can mean different things for you.

But if you neglect your own needs and well being, like taking care of your children, Or when you’re taking care of your children, it can eventually just take a toll on your confidence. So you want to make time for self care activities that really recharge you mentally and emotionally and physically.

So some different things are like, are you working out? Are you going for walks? Are you scheduling a girl’s night? Are you scheduling a lunch break? Are you getting your nails done? You’re going shopping alone or yoga, Pilates, CrossFit, any hobby. Like, here’s the thing for me when I didn’t have a hobby and I was just working, I was just working and taking care of my kids, it was like, okay, well, you need to enjoy life, right?

You need to have fun with life. Life isn’t all about work. And even though you enjoy maybe being a mom, taking care of your family. You know, you still need time for yourself and you need to figure out ways that you can really have fun in your day to day, you know, in little pockets, even if it’s 15, 20 minutes, even if it’s like a 20 minute workout or 20 minute walk or reading a book that you really like, not a book for self development, but like a book for fun.

And the biggest thing on this is, and I just listened to this in a podcast last week that I absolutely love. But my tired and exhausted self is not my best self. And moms can really, and definitely women can experience this. You know, towards the end of the night, you’re just kind of snappy and you’re not as like, you’re not as chill as you were the morning of, right?

And that’s it. That’s because you’re tired. That’s because you are so tired or maybe it’s the end of the week and you’ve just been so tired. So I begin to really recognize those moments and you don’t want to be a tired mom. You want to be a refreshed mom. So you can pour, you don’t want to pour from an empty cup.

And I know you’ve heard those expressions, but it’s truly, you do not want to do that. so you really, really need to take care of yourself. And I know I’ve talked about this before here, but I absolutely love my gym here in Murfreesboro. It’s called Burn Bootcamp. One really cool thing about it is they have childcare.

So they really took that need for a mom and was like, okay, what do moms need? They need, they need community and they need self care, like working out. And they said, you know what, we’re going to have a childcare here so you can drop your kids off. We’ll take care of your kids and you take care of you.

Like what a beautiful concept that is. And after our workouts, I love seeing all the kids play too. It’s just so adorable. It’s like, they love it. The moms love it. You know, and that’s 40 minutes that you get to pour into yourself. That is just so, so important. Here’s a big, big unhealthy habit that I think we all struggle with.

Overcommitting and feeling overwhelmed. Wow. Overcommitting. Saying yes, being a people pleaser, saying yes to too many commitments. Spreading yourself too thin. It just can lead to overwhelm and you got to learn how to really prioritize and set boundaries. And the other big thing is like really just saying no, which is so hard.

I’ll help you with that, especially if you’re a people pleaser, but you don’t want to constantly be feeling overstressed and just depleted. And in the past, I remember one of my friends was like, You’re overwhelmed because you’re saying yes to too much and you need to like have some self care like downtime And it just all made sense like a few years later.

I’m like, wow I’m actually doing what she told me to a couple years ago, but this is definitely a big flaw of mine. I still I still overbook myself from time to time. I’m a chronic over booker. I need a T-shirt that says that I’m a chronic over booker. But what I, even what I did today was like, okay, look at a month ahead, look at your week ahead.

Like, what, where’s some pockets or where’s some things you can move around? Or, you know, for me, I run my schedule. So what’s so funny is like, I’m overwhelmed because I’m making myself overwhelmed. No one’s in charge of my schedule for me, but me. So if you are in charge of your own schedule, don’t overbook.

Like, what’s the point? Like I was doing that for a long time and I was like, this is not serving me at all. So I do say no now. And it took a while to learn how to do, I’m going to give you some tips on how to say No, in a very nice way, so that you are not people pleasing. so, you’re just gonna have to get really good at saying no.

And, really looking at your commitments, and looking at things that don’t serve you. I mean, this is even, you could even do this with your finances. Not just your time, but even your finances. Looking at your budget and being like, Ooh, this expense is 500 a month. It’s not really serving me. It is not really serving me.

It’s not helping me become a better person, straining my account. It’s not helping our family. Let’s cut it out. So I remember in January, I cut out so many things that weren’t serving me. It feels so good because now I don’t have to hustle as hard and They were just draining me anyways. look at your subscriptions when it comes to that.

Really look at your subscriptions. I think there’s even an app that will go through and like calculate all your subscriptions for you. But if you’re not using it, or if it’s draining you, and you’ve committed to it, cut it out. So, another thing like this is also with my kids, And just our schedule as a family.

So not just with your own personal life or your life in business, but also with your kids. So I have one kid that wants to play every sport and be involved in every single thing. and I love that. I absolutely love that about him. But signed my sign up for two different soccer leagues on accident.

And. The old Kelly and honestly the Kelly that still wanted to be old Kelly was like it’s his favorite sport. I already paid for it He loves it He’s really good at it. We’ll just do two soccer leagues. And I was like saying this to another mom, an older mom, a more seasoned mom, a more, a mom that has used the word no a lot more.

And I said, so I was like, yeah, he’s in two soccer leagues, but I think I’m just going to make it work. She was like, Oh no, we don’t do that. And I just laughed so hard and I was like, it’s because you’re seasoned and you know what you’re doing and you’re so smart. And so later that day I dropped, I had, I actually ended up saving my money and just moving the money from that soccer league.

They let me move it to the fall cause I don’t want to waste money, obviously. But I loved that. I actually was like, I, I actually can’t do two soccer leagues on top, on top of my daughter’s activities, on top of church, on top of everything else that we have going on. I can’t do, you know, two soccer games in three soccer practices a week.

That’s just, I just can’t. And maybe you’re in a season in life where you can do that. But for me, that just did not work. And so, you know, as a mom. We want to give our kids the absolute world. We want to give them everything. And sometimes we just say, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. And another example of that is we got invited to two different skate, like roller skating events in the week.

And we did a roller skating event all day on Monday. It was like four hours. And then they wanted to do one later in the week. One was with church and one was with school. And again, old Kelly would be like, okay, let’s do the second one. Let’s do both skate nights. It sounds like fun. And then I was like, no.

We skated for four hours this week already, and it’s going to stress me out. I won’t have time to make dinner. I won’t have time to do this. That’s already on the schedule. And I just had to learn how to say no. And, you know. That’s just a couple examples on ways I’m getting better. But if someone reaches out to you and ask you to do something for them, if they’re like, hi, I would love for you to help volunteer for this, or can you make this, or can you do this, whatever the case may be, you could say, if it’s an event specifically, you could say, I would love to attend this event or I would love to participate in this, but unfortunately I can’t, but please keep me in mind, cause you’re just like saying no, but I, I’m so thankful you reached out to me, and I would just love to work with you in the future.

This is one thing I do for work. Another one is, I’m so sorry that I cannot volunteer for this right now, or I’m so sorry I can’t come to this, but here’s somebody that I think could help you, because you’re still helping them, you’re just not committing to whatever it is. And so this is what I do for people that I know, like, and trust that are, like, in my circle, or maybe it’s like a brand that I really want to keep a relationship with,

and so I’m a full time influencer. I get a lot of opportunities or some days I get a ton of opportunities. Some days I don’t, it just depends on the day. But let’s say it’s a brand that just doesn’t fit my brand that I don’t really want to work with because they’re just not the right fit. I say, thank you so much for this opportunity.

I would love to keep a relationship with you, but right now this product or services just does not fit my brand at this time. But again, time is really valuable. So when I’m going through emails and I got this from another entrepreneur, they said, you know, time is super, super valuable. I try to answer every single email that comes my way, but sometimes it’s impossible to answer everything.

So in a, in a very nice way, I pass on it professionally, but my time’s also. Money, so I can’t answer every single opportunity or email that comes my way And I just want I just want you to know that you can’t put too many too much pressure expectations on yourself a really unhealthy habit is to not is to ignore your accomplishments So when you’re accomplishing things big or small Typically, as someone that’s very a high, high achieving personality, typically our small wins are big wins, but we just view them as small.

Which is ridiculous. I, I am fully aware of how ridiculous that sounds. So, there’s a reason we celebrate small wins. We celebrate them Because no matter how small, if you don’t celebrate them, it will diminish your confidence over time. Because what you’re doing and what you’re achieving, it will never feel like it’s enough.

And so if you don’t take the time and reflect on your accomplishments, maybe as a mother, so maybe you’re managing a hectic schedule, or you’re overcoming a hard parenting challenge. Your birthday. Celebrate your birthday, right? Celebrate hitting that goal you’ve always wanted to hit. Celebrate starting a podcast.

I remember when I started a podcast. I like text all my friends. I was like, I started a podcast. I literally didn’t even know how to like hook it up to my TV. It was so funny. I didn’t even know how to hook it up to my computer. Literally walked in the day I had to send my producer two episodes. I was like, I don’t even know how to hook up this mic.

And I don’t even know how to take this out of the box. But those are little small things. And also just putting yourself out there so authentically on a platform, like Literally letting everyone get to the inside nitty gritty. That’s a celebration. So don’t wait to celebrate. That needs to be, like, another t shirt.

All my merch t shirts are gonna come out this episode. Don’t wait to celebrate! Celebrate! You should be celebrating something, like, at least every week, okay? I don’t care how small it is. You need to celebrate it. I remember me and my husband reading Mexican. And we just We celebrated us, you know, there was no reason to celebrate.

We just did it and you need to celebrate. And another thing, if it’s like your birthday, for example, text your friends, say my birthday’s coming up. Let’s do something like, don’t wait on other people. I ain’t waiting on nobody to celebrate me, girl. I’m a celebrate. Um, but if you stop celebrating small wins, which is a very unhealthy habit.

It just feels like no matter what you achieve, it’s just never enough, which is a definite issue, right? So we got to stop. We got to reflect on the things that we’ve done while we work towards the things we want to achieve at this point in your life. I know for sure, without a doubt that you’ve achieved a lot.

I know you have, I know you’ve things. So take the time and celebrate those things. Moving on to another unhealthy habit. You’re not meal prepping your meals, and I know you’ve seen the Podcast I know you’ve listened to people. You know you’re supposed to meal prep your meals I know I am in some weeks.

I don’t and here the last few weeks I’ve been doing it probably cuz I’m telling y’all to do it So I’m like gotta you know practice what you preach But truly when you meal prep your meals you’re not And I’m just speaking on experience. You save money, you’re on track with how much protein you’re gonna get, and you don’t go through the drive thru all the time.

And you guys, eating unhealthy drive thru food is fine from time to time. Mama loves her some Chick fil A. Polynesian, come to mama. I mean, I’m here for it. Waffle fries, what other fast food do I like? Sonic, chili cheese socks. I was eating these chili cheese socks the other night. I was like, the grease on the bottom of it.

But they’re good. They are good. I love me a Diet Coke, cherry, vanilla, and lime. I mean, my goodness. But, it is not good to do that every day. You know that. I know that. And it’s not going to give you really the fuel and the nutrients you need to be your most confident self. So if you’re just getting started with meal prep, first thing I would do is get some really cute containers on Amazon.

This always helps. And then here’s a little simple lunch that I did for a couple weeks just to get me started that I really liked. Put some strawberries, some grapes, some good lean lunch meat in there, whether it’s turkey, chicken, some pretzel crisps, some cheese, some hummus. I like the spicy hummus if you’ve tried that and some vegetables, some like carrots or celery sticks and it’s so good to grab on the go.

I also love, I love this lunchbox because it’s like sweet and salty and savory and it’s got like a bunch of different things going on. That’s so good. And I love throwing it in a lunchbox if I’m like on a content shoot or driving to see a client or something like that. It keeps all week. It’s so good. So, start with your lunches.

Like, first, whenever I, whenever I try to, like, coach someone into starting a new system or a habit, I always say start really small just to get you consistent. And the Atomic Habits book will even say that. He says to, like, put your tennis shoes on if you want to start working out. That’s really helpful.

To just like put your workout clothes and tennis shoes on for a week and you don’t even have to do anything at the gym. Like that’s your first step. And then your second step is to put your tennis shoes and workout clothes on and then go to the gym. But if you get in the habit of like putting your workout clothes and tennis shoes on first thing when you wake up in the morning, it will get you, it’s called habit stacking.

And so you just keep stacking on these habits. So if you want to start on Sunday or Monday, start meal prepping one thing. Maybe it’s your breakfast or maybe it’s your lunch for the week. I would start with lunch and then I would move to like, maybe do an overnight oats for breakfast or I even got a recipe for this, like really good egg.

It’s like an egg, um, casserole with a bunch of veggies and eggs and cheese in it and do that. And like my husband, he will even just grill a ton of chicken and get some eggs in there. Salad kits for the, for lunch for the week. And so we start there and then I start doing my kids lunches. So my lunch right now, what I’m doing is like all my breakfast for the week, my kids lunches for the week, and then my lunch for the week, my husband’s lunch for the week.

And then I’ll cook dinner every night. Typically. I love cooking dinner. It’s like one of my favorite things to do, but save so much time. Everyone’s fueled and on track and you have to make sure you’re getting a lot of protein, Protein just helps you for sure. It helps you stay full longer. For me, specifically.

Obviously, talk to, you know, a dietitian or nutritionist about this. But for me, getting protein has definitely helped. The last unhealthy habit that I have that you know, but I’ll say it anyways, don’t go to bed too late. And, I am a n I used to be a night owl. I’m not a night owl anymore. It’s one of those things I used to say, like, you know, when you say you’re not a morning person.

I used to say I am a night owl. I am not a night owl anymore, but I’m very guilty. In the past of watching Vampire Diaries, so my guilty pleasure, eating truffle sea salt caramel ice cream and just getting a little chill time, you know, staying up late, but your action or like your decisions and habits that you do at night determine your next day.

So the later you stay up, the later you’ll get up the next day and the later you’ll go after your day and all the things. And sleep is so important for you to be confident. Sleep is huge. You need sleep. You need 8, 9, 10 hours of sleep. You need a lot of sleep. Anytime I’ve like, been well rested, my day is so much better.

So much better. I can guarantee that. So, before you go to bed, get off your phone, put it in a drawer, set your alarm, put your phone across the room somewhere not next to you. Like, I put my phone in the laundry room, which is next to my bedroom, but it’s not in my bedroom. And that way I can’t grab it.

Cause I I’m like addicted. I want to grab it. You’re probably addicted too, but I want to try to take away all my blue screens at night and then try reading a book, try journaling, try coloring, try painting, try anything else. Definitely. Reading definitely helps put me to sleep. But if you watch, if you start scrolling on TikTok or scrolling on social media, you just get sucked in, then you can’t go to sleep.

And TikTok specifically is so funny. You’ll be watching one video, then all of a sudden you get like whiplash, and there’s some crazy video that’s like, I don’t, I don’t even know. Example would be like, you know, Doomsday preppers or something and you’re like, oh no! I’m like, I should not be listening to this before I go to bed.

Like some things are so entertaining and funny on there and then all of a sudden you get whiplash or you get like one of those eerie videos that’s like

Like some weird Like, weird videos. I get really weird TikToks about the North Sea. I’m like, what is this? And it’s that song, Yo ho. Y’all probably don’t know what I’m talking about. But I’m like, what is this right now? I can’t watch this weird, eerie video about the North Sea. I’m trying to go to bed. So, yeah, turn that phone off, get it away.

We don’t, we don’t need to know about the North Sea . Plus that’s the last thing your brain’s gonna know before you go to sleep, like should your brain be learning about that. So yeah, I hope these habits helped you. These unhealthy habits that we all need to kick. And like I said.

You might not be perfect at them. I definitely struggle with the one about going to bed too late. I still struggle with that. but I’m, I’m just getting a little bit better every day. Remember 1 percent better every day. By the, the Atomic Habits book by James Clear, if you want some further education and nuggets and things to take with you, we’re at 26 minutes.

So, I love to keep these short and sweet for you guys, just digestible take home things. Send me a message on Instagram. If any of these tips have helped you, I’ve been getting DMs daily about the podcast, which has been so amazing for me. I absolutely love it. And it makes me happy. And it’s like, wow, this time you’re putting into the podcast channel, people are like getting it and watching it or listening to it and they’re loving it.

And so send me a DM if any of these have helped you, or if you’ve tried one. And if no one has told you today. I just think you’re awesome. I try to end every podcast like this. Um, I think you’re awesome. I think you’re doing great and I’m just so, so proud of you until next time on a confident blonde podcast.